Although I have to admit that I was at one very boring candle lit dinner party in Clapham once, and my thoughts often turned to the after life and how quickly I could send myself, or better still, those around me, banging on about some rubbish or other, to try it out!

The design of the oil lamp was moving on from a bit of rock and some dodgy old bit of moss, which may or may not have been used for wiping a Neanderthals backside, to something altogether more ornate.

One such ritual, involving oil lamps was called Liknokaia (the burning lamp), and was held in honour of the goddess Naiff. Really? I don’t want all the worship, please just stop calling me Naff!

Around 600BC, people started using pottery wheels to throw lamps, and 3-400BC, began using moulds which dramatically improved the quality and the decorative nature of the candles.

Funny how these days, people hanker after the uniquity of the hand made item, almost revering the haphazard nature of its production. It also costs a lot more to make something by hand.

At Clearcraft, we provide both handmade candles and moulded ones, because we are clearly higher beings. It has only taken us 20 years to develop moulded products as well as hand blown ones, which makes us 180 years faster than the ancient Greeks.

Everyone knows the expression ‘Beware of Greeks bearing gifts’ as a reference to the Trojan horse. The modern day digital equivalent of this is ‘Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs!’

The first version refers to a load of Greek soldiers hiding inside a big wooden horse, so they could gain access to the under-siege Troy.

The second version refers to a load of Geeks hiding behind a keyboard so they can gain access to under age Tracy.

Can I say that? Probably not! But hey, it’s my book!