But then I thought, if I just start a little bit at a time, and somehow make it REALLY interesting, by doing things like writing some words in CAPITALS, just to WAKE YOU UP ALREADY, it might just work!

Perhaps, inspired by the great works of Kurt Vonnegut Jnr., I can engage you in a subject that you would probably not read about even if it was the only book on your island, and you had just had your sight restored after being blind for thirty years.  I mean, if it was me, I’d go for Fifty Sheds Of Grey – it’s a book about sheds which are grey – there are 50 of them in the book – or some sort of pornography, but not a book on oil candles and oil lamps. 

So don’t worry.  If I told you this was going to be about some hot stuff, and being covered in oil, and doing something that was going to get your wick going you know what I mean.  Flames, and oil candles.

Furthermore, the subject matter of oil candles could largely be summed up with a slightly wordy paragraph – not easy to stretch this into a book.

But this is no ordinary book. Read some more.  You never know, you might enjoy it AND be able to tell all your friends around the dinner table everything you will then know about oil lamps!!